167.6 lbs

The title says it all.

I don't think I have ever been this fat and NOT been pregnant. Earlier this year I dieted my way down to the 140's. I still felt like I had a lot to go. But then certain stresses in my life caused me to fall off the wagon and start eating for comfort. I know I do this, but it doesn't seem to help me stop. People started telling me how great I was looking, summertime was just around the corner, my old clothes were falling off of me, I HAD to shop, and I blew it...BIG time.

Now I am exploding out of my old fat clothes. I feel depressed about it. I am ashamed of myself.

so here is my rather unsophisticated anagram for FATSO:

unFit
unAttractive
Troubled
Shapeless
fOodie

Sorry, it was the best I could come up with today. I will work on improving it and am open to suggestions.

So what is my plan?

Well, I took the first step last night. I bought an accurate scale. NJG's scale weighed light and is the old school, dial kind. I need something that will weigh me to the nearest 10th of a pound for those weeks when I will only lose a few ounces. As long as I see the tiniest improvement, I will stay motivated. So I stripped and hopped on and weighed 169.2, that close to 170, yikes. Of course, I usually weigh myself in the morning, and will make that my regular practice, but I needed to see the cold, hard truth. I needed to see the reason my underwear seems to have shrunk. I needed to see why I can't button clothing that used to button easily. I needed to see why my thighs are the best of friends, practically inseparable.

I am trying to gear up for another go at South Beach. It worked, especially for that stubborn belly fat. It is hard though, especially that first two week period. I have to be mentally prepared.

I was successful the last time because it was a contest, I am competitive. I had wanted NJG to come up with a reward to keep me going, but that never happened. That is OK, I have thought if a reward I can give myself when I reach my goal.

I will need to find time for exercise. Sunday, NJG and I went running. I was able to run farther than I thought I would before I needed to take a walk break. Part of that was probably me wanting to make the best impression on my new husband. I am still sore two days later, but I want to get some exercise again tonight, sometime, someway. Anyway, for now, I am committed to exercise three times a week for at least 20 minutes at a time. This will be a challenge as I am always trying to accommodate everyone else.

So, what is my goal? I am not sure what my ultimate goal should be. For now I want to weight somewhere in the 140's. So I need to lose a whopping 20 pounds. That seems daunting.