167.8

I was a bad, bad girl over the weekend. It was my little girl's birthday. I made a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Of course it was from scratch, it was delicious, and I enjoyed every bite I had along with the ice cream. Then there was the football game after the party. You have to drink a couple of beers to watch football right? Oh and then there was Saturday night when we went out to dinner and a play...

Anyway, I was really bad and now I am having a difficult time getting back on track.

167

I have been cheating here and there but still making progress. When I say cheating, I don't mean having ice cream, I mean that I had corn at dinner last night.

I am going to the bathroom at least every hour. I guess that is what happens when you drink something all day and also munch on celery, which must contain lots of water.

167.2

Ahhh, I am wasting away.

I fell off the wagon last night as far as South Beach goes. I was afraid to get on the scale this morning. It will probably catch up with me tomorrow morning when I get on so I will be extra good today. I was doing pretty well yesterday, but last night was Back to School night for my son so my husband and I went and didn't get out of there till 9pm. That meant I hadn't eaten since lunch at 1 and really needed to eat. My husband bought us a pizza and I didn't object. It was a yummy Pappa Johns 6 cheese pizza too. Hmmmmm. I had three slices. But, it was worth it. I will just be good the rest of the week.

168.8

It seems strange to feel happy about 168.8. I NEVER thought I would be here. When I lost weight in the spring, I felt so good about it, I thought there was no way I would allow myself to gain so much weight. I think it is easier to be deceived in the summer when clothes fit looser, at least in my wardrobe.

I am trying South Beach again, the hardest part of this diet is breakfast. I don't really like eggs and am supposed to get a half cup of veggies for breakfast. I think omelet, but I really have to be in the mood for an omelet. So, for the last two mornings I have been having celery with peanut butter. I use natural peanut butter with no sugar and no added oil. This is OK, in moderation. I feel like I have overdone it this morning so I am putting it back in the fridge.

Yesterday I had a salad with chicken and black beans. I also had roasted chicken for dinner at my mother's and all the veggies I could take and still leave some for the others at the table. I declined to have the potatoes. I didn't have even a taste of the chocolate cake my sister made. No ice cream either. No bread with supper.

I also went on a late night walk with my husband. It's not that we walked fast, we strolled. But it was a long walk and burned more calories than I would have otherwise burned, sitting at home. I felt the muscles in my thighs twitching, which I always take as a good sign.

170.4

devasting.

this morning I had a dream that my husband told me he wanted to marry someone else.

then I got up and weighed myself.

can you think of a worse way to start the day?

when will enough be enough for me?

today, I hope.

this morning I am munching on celery with natural, sugar free peanut butter. Smucker's brand is actually good, it doesn't separate into that unattractive oil/peanut mess as other natural peanut butter does.

I can do this

168.8

Great.

It was worse, I was close to 170 a few days ago.

I have given up alcohol. I was praying about it in church and I felt that the answer, well, one of the answers, is to give up alcohol. It is hard. I love beer and so does my husband. In the winter time I love wine, it warms me up. I love to drink beer while watching football. I like to drink socially. We are going away for a weekend in NYC where we will be going to jazz clubs, etc., and I will be sipping Diet Coke. I am not too excited about that.

Oh well, I have lost about a pound since Sunday.